So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Boobs are out for the taking
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
