If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
