so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
