I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
