It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
