I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
