I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
