im drinking this country out of the recession.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
