Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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