She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
