I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
