Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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