I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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