I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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