Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
