Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
