We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize