Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize