We named our party play list daddy issues
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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