I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
