oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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