She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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