is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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