I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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