The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
