discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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