put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
