the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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