she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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