I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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