Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
