Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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