What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
honey bunches of taint.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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