Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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