He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
