I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
