So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
