worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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