I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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