Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
