he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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