Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
