Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
