This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
