i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize