it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
