Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
