The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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