Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
