ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
