I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize