Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
