did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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