hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am in a vortex of obligation.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
