R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
