I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
