After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
