what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I understand Curling. That high.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
