sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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